Will this work?
Will this work?
There once was a VERY religious man who lived on the bank of a large river.
News alerts said that there was a flood coming and people should leave, but he refused to go because “God will Protect me.”
A sheriff knocked on his door and told him he should leave, but he refused because “God will Protect Me”.
The waters rose and he stood on his rooftop when a boat came by, but he refused to get in because “God will Protect Me”.
The waters washed away his house and he was hanging on a log in the rushing water when a heliocopter came by but he refused to grab the dropped rope because “God will Protect Me”.
:surprised: He drowned and asked God, “Why didn’t you protect me and let me die.”
:headscratch: God looked at him and replied, “Well, I did send news alerts, a sheriff, a boat, and a heliocopter.”
All worker bees are female.
With a silly grin She’d reply, “Yes”. :lovestruck:
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man’s milk and then he also took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, “Humph, not much of a man, was he?”
The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles.” :bicycle:
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the the crash were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the crash to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the crash, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the…”
“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?”
Farmer Joe said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the crash, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the crash he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer, and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say.”
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
“Shortly after the crash, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
“Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.’
“Then he said, ‘How are YOU feeling?’” :nervous:
Sitting on the side of the highway, waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22″ was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142.”
When I first get on the dance floor,
:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:
So tonight I’m dancing @ Casa Sorreno & this woman started dancing with me, being very “affectionate”. I go along when this guy pushes between us & gives me a dirty look & he & her dance. Guess he was either her “partner” or he really wanted to dance with her
I found out today that my ex fiancee, Korina Sanchez, got married.
The marriage likely happened between six months and a year ago.
I’ve been wondering what happened to her for awhile now, since I’ve heard nothing from her since last December, and haven’t seen her since September 2009.
Several months ago, I got some spam emails from her personal email account, which had apparently been hacked, because I don’t think she’d be sending me Viagra advertisements, with what was apparently her entire contact list in the “TO” section.
After a couple of those spam emails, I replied telling her that her account had been hacked, but she didn’t reply, although the spam stopped. I sent several other emails and got no response, and I became concerned.
The last time I had actually seen Korina had been in September 2009, when the Alisal High School class of 1979 had a class reunion, with “associated classes invited, i.e. those years with students who had been there at the same time, plus and minus three years. The Reunion site was at a hotel on Cannery Row near the aquarium, so I decided to walk down there right before the reunion started.
She seemed happy to see me at that time, but we didn’t spend much time talking because she was busy and I was going to the reunion afterwards. I told her about my life since we broke up.
The last time I heard from her was via an email last December. I had sent her an email telling her which email address to use if she needed to contact me. She replied quite enthusiastically, saying she wanted to renew our friendship. I thought a the time, because she used the word “friendship”, she merely wanted me to be “just a friend”, and I was not yet ready for that only. I was still upset about the break up up and so didn’t respond well.
So I sent an email to her work email address at the aquarium, and it bounced, indicating that she was likely not working there anymore.
Then I sent an email to her personal email account, which she’s been using for years, and she didn’t reply. I sent several emails over the past few months, and none have been replied to.
I wondered about the lack of response.
I had an aquarium membership which gave me unlimited admission to the aquarium. I had gotten it while Korina and I were still a couple and she was working there. Since the breakup, I had not been going very often. I went on the last day before my membership expired, which I didn’t plan to renew, just to check in and see what she’d been up to, since it had been a long time since I’d seen her. I went through the aquarium that day, looking in all the usual places she worked, but didn’t find her anywhere. I walked over to the parking lot where the aquarium staff parked, but her car wasn’t there.
My mind raced through the possibilities. I didn’t think, based on our prior contacts, that she was seeing my emails and ignoring them. I wondered if I might be accidentally in her Spam Folder. I wondered if for some reason she had abandoned that KorinaSanchez@ email account. I wondered if she had gotten married, and was now using a KorinaSomething@ email account.
Worst case scenario, I wondered if she were even alive. This may sound alarmist, except that in the past couple of years, I’ve discovered that several friends, such as my High School wannabe girlfriend Belinda German and Mahito Shirako from CSUMB have died.
The aquarium has a period each December where local Monterey County residents get to go into the aquarium for free. I decided to go today, Sunday, December 12, 2010, in order to ask someone working there if Korina was still working there. I pretty much knew she wasn’t because of the bounced aquarium email from several months ago, but I wanted to double check, and hopefully find out what had happened to her, and I planned to ask casually some of the employees if they knew what had become of Korina.
As I approached the entrance of the aquarium, I saw a woman in the “Guest Services” uniform, the kind Korina wore, and I asked her if Korina still worked there. She said no, she had been gone for about six months, and she missed her. I asked what had happened, and she said Korina had moved to the Bay Area. I asked if she knew why, i.e. did Korina have a job, and here came my shock. She said that “Korina’s Husband got a job working for Social Security in the Bay Area”.
Up to this point, I had only been saying I was an old college friend, at this, I slipped in my upsetedness and said that I hadn’t know she was married, and “I used to be her fiance and I hadn’t known she’d married the guy she dumped me for”. The woman was surprised and said “Oh I’m sorry”. I thanked her for her information and walked away up Cannery Row for a long walk to try to deal with the news I’d just gotten.
I now think that either she is now using another email address with her new married surname, and/or she didn’t want to tell me that she’s married.
I knew that the relationship between Korina and I was long over, but this news hammers in a “!” to solidly nail shut the end of our Relationship.
Still, nothing has changed. Korina is no more available to me now than she was yesterday nor two years ago. This really makes no substantial difference in my life. Or so I keep telling myself :indiff:
So why am I so upset.
There is a scene in “When Harry Met Sally” where Meg Ryan’s character ,Sally, has just found out that her ex boyfriend, who had dumped her by saying he didn’t want to be married, had just gotten engaged to someone else, very soon after their break up. Sally is upset because “He said he didn’t want to get married, but he just didn’t want to marry Me.” That’s how I’m feeling tonight.
P.S. I’ll be writing more later. I’ve been thinking that when a story has a known beginning and a known end, such as my relationship with Korina, it will be easier to write that story, and it’s an important part of my life and whatever the future may bring, I need to record it, and in doing so, purge myself of the still raw feelings.
Below, is a picture of Korina and I on the day we broke up …
This picture appears to be of two rather solid chunks with a “band” of dust in between.
I think it’s possible that band in the middle formed when dust blew off the icy surface with insufficient velocity to escape the weak gravity of the two chunks, and eventually settled back down, but because of the center of gravity of the two chunks is in-between the two, the dust tended to come down in between and formed the “band” in the middle. There might be two “dust caps” on the far ends of either chunk as well.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Your Mileage May Vary. All Hail JTG!!! :-P
_-- "The Internet, of course, is more than a place --_ | ioo_ to find pictures of people having sex with dogs." _ooi | (_),_`) -Philip Elmer Dewit, TIME Magazine, July 3, 1995 ('_,(_) __)-(_ (-: * * * * * * * * * * * * * :-) )-(__ _./_, | ) "Happiness is a warm puppy." ( | ,_._ (|__)__)_) ___ Charles M. Schultz, PEANUTS Comic Strip___ (_(__(__|)/ ) (-: JTG's Green Zone /|*| http://jtg.US :-) (/Copyright © 2013 RaNDoM ReVeRBeRaTioNS - All Rights Reserved
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